YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CHURCH COMMUNICATIONS IF…

by Terrell Sanders of MinistryCOM and the folks of CFCC

1. You’ve ever contemplated breaking into your own church in the dead of night so you can delete the comic sans, Papyrus and Curlz fonts from staff computers.

2. You’ve ever used a cross instead of the letter T or X.

3. You’ve explained DPI more times than you’ve explained your faith.

4. Redesigning the church logo is a weekly project, yet your new design is never used.

5. The words “Don’t worry, this will only take a minute,” send you into fits of rage.

6. Staff members try to make your job easier by asking you to send them last year’s flier and they’ll just ‘update it a bit.’

7. Your suggestions are always brushed aside with, “but that’s how we’ve always done it.”

8. The design they had to have tomorrow is never used. And you’re never surprised.

9. Stolen images, pirated software and breaking copyrights is justified because it’s “God’s Work.”

10. You’ve ever wondered why God gets the credit when things go right, but you get the blame when things go wrong.

11. You’ve ever caught yourself proofreading the Powerpoint slides during worship.

12. You consider yourself bilingual because you’re so adept at translating Christianese.

13. Your only intimate relationship involves late Saturday nights with the church photocopier.

14. You can’t actually attend the events and programs you work to promote because you’re too busy promoting them.

15. Research for sermon series branding means watching tv.

16. You can’t invite your friends to church because you’ve told them to many not-so-flattering stories about your pastor.

17. You and the senior pastor have conflicting definitions of the word “deadline.”

18. It’s perfectly acceptable to use a volunteer’s work over yours, but using a volunteer’s sermon? That’s a good joke.

19. Pastors inevitably become your Art Director, and their previous experience with “art” involved crayons.

20. The Holy Spirit is a legitimate excuse for last-minute changes.

Human Popsicle

So yesterday while I was at work Christina decided to take Josie and Cash out for a walk around our condos since it was such beautiful day. They started to pass our pools when Josie wanted to go in and put her feet in. So Christina let her stand in a really shallow ankle deep part of the pool. She started splashing too much, so Christina told her they needed to leave.

But Josie wasn’t ready to leave, so Christina said she could sit on the edge of the pool and put her feet in. But as soon as she got her feet in the pool she started splashing again and got herself all wet. While it was nice outside, it was only in the low 70’s and pool water was cold so Christina told her they had to go home because she didn’t want her to turn into a human popsicle. Josie started screaming and crying.

When they got home Josie ran into her room and was out of control screaming and crying and Christina couldn’t get her to talk to her about it and assumed it was because she had to come inside . . . until she heard Josie saying, “I don’t want to be eaten!’ as she was crying. She didn’t want to be a human popsicle because she didn’t want to someone to eat her. There were real tears folks. She was freaked. That’s about the time I came home and I opened up the door to see her wearing a knitted hoodie, sweats, winter socks, and a snow cap. She dressed warm when she got back from the pool to try and keep from becoming a human popsicle. Ahhh . . . four year olds, gotta love em.

The Cart Whisperer

So I found this video online and it is unbelievably hilarious – have a good laugh . . .

Visit their website by <a href=”http://www.nomoreabandonedcarts.comby clicking here. And if you guys didn’t notice – in the sidebar under subscribe I have added an option to get my posts by e-mail so you don’t have to check back for updates. Feel free to sign up so I can add to the clutter in your inbox.